My Dad used to say to us kids (in support of my mom who cooked the meals), “You kids have two choices for dinner this evening: Take it or Leave it."
If we chose to “leave it”, we didn’t eat anything till the next meal was served. No snacking allowed! If we chose to “take it”, that meant that we ate everything on our plates. I don’t remember ever choosing the menu option to “leave it”.
Sitting at the table daily with my dad and mom, older sister and younger brother (yes, I was a middle child), profoundly influenced me for good.
There were important things I learned at the table, such as respect for God, for the various people and their functions in the family, as well as respect for the family unit in general. Looking back, I realize that eating family meals together taught me these six things (at least):
For my mom, there was the added challenge of finances. At times Mom had few food supplies in her cupboard and refrigerator, yet she made due. We weren't wealthy by any means and we often had only beans for dinner. However, Mom always made it seem like a meal fit for a king as she worked her magic in the kitchen turning even that meager meal into a delicious gift to her husband and children.
I stand in awe of my mom who committed to serve her family in this very basic but extremely important way. (Learn here how we can serve our husbands and children by providing nourishing meals as did my mom.)
Respect for my dad who went to work every day to bring home "the bacon" and insisted that we all spend time eating that bacon together around the table. My father had some priorities as the head of the home and seeing that we all came together for meals was one. He knew that it was important that we connect with one another and also that we commune with one another. He understood the value of family "community". He was a wise man and I thank God that he was my earthly father.
Respect for the way things were done in our home for the well-being of all in our family. I learned that a family functions together. My dad, a Christian man, was committed to leading the family, even in this seemingly minor way. He grew up on a farm and knew the importance of real food, ie, eggs for breakfast rather than sugary sweet breakfast cereals, etc. As a Christian husband, he took the lead in this and my mom, being his complimentary counterpart, made the meals happen three times each day, every day. They functioned like a left hand helping the right more dominant hand. The example of how a husband and wife can work together in the home was lived out daily for me.
Respect for the food itself, as it was real, nourishing and was provided by God’s creative and loving hand. I learned that one of the first gifts God gave to Adam and Eve was food - delicious, nutritious food. Food is God's love made edible. He gave plant foods to man in the garden of Eden before man chose to disregard God's one directive (Genesis 1:29-30). Later, after the flood, God also added animal foods to man's diet. This is what real food is and this is what we ate every day at the table.
Respect for the food itself, as it was real, nourishing and was provided by God’s creative and loving hand. I learned that one of the first gifts God gave to Adam and Eve was food - delicious, nutritious food. Food is God's love made edible. He gave plant foods to man in the garden of Eden before man chose to disregard God's one directive (Genesis 1:29-30). Later, after the flood, God also added animal foods to man's diet. This is what real food is and this is what we ate every day at the table.
Respect and gratitude toward God for providing all of our needs. This was the most important truth of all that I learned as we ate together. We kids grew up knowing that trusting God meant that we would never go hungry.
King David expressed this very thing in Psalm 37:25 when he proclaimed, "I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or his children begging bread."
And it was at the table that we kids heard from Dad and Mom of the stories of God providing, when often there wasn't money to buy what Mom needed for our meals. These stories informed us kids that we ate three good and nourishing meals each day, not because we had the money to buy whatever we needed, but because someone, unbeknownst to us (moved by the Lord), had visited our front porch, leaving there bags of groceries that contained exactly what mom had needed to make the meals she had planned but did not have the resources for when the time came to buy them. We learned at the table that the Lord met all of our needs and that He knew exactly what those needs were.
On one such occasion, Mom testified at the table, as we ate "Cabbage Patch Stew" that she had all she needed for this stew except the cabbage. But she didn't even have enough change in her purse to buy the cabbage for our supper. Dad may have had that little bit of money, but he was at work and not due home till later.
Sometime between Mom's discovery that she either needed cabbage or she needed to "punt" and plan for beans instead (though by then, it would have been too late to soak and cook beans), she discovered a bag of groceries at the front door. To her delight that bag contained a nice big head of cabbage.
This is the testimony of our God's goodness that we heard as we sat and ate Mom's Cabbage Patch Stew. To this day I continue to love and make Cabbage Patch Stew partly because it's delicious but mostly because I remember what the Lord did to make this meal possible (get the recipe here if you'd like to try it).
Respect for the health of my own body and the health of my future children. That may sound a little strange. But again, my dad had his priorities and he was wise. One of the reasons we always had breakfast around the table was Dad wanted us to start out the day by being nourished so that we would have the nutrients needed to excel in body and mind. He would tell us that it was important for our health individually and for the health of the next generation, "What you eat now will have an impact on the health of your children in the future." And he was right.
It stands to reason that if a child eats densely nutritious food and avoids eating sugary cereals, fast food, faux foods that are laden with preservatives, etc., that she will herself be healthier than a child deprived of nutritious foods. So many of the degenerative diseases that much of our society deals with in this day and age point back to a poor diet.
Considering that the health of a child can be impacted by what she eats or doesn't eat as she grows up, when she's of childbearing age, her developing child will be benefitted or harmed by her choice of diet. It really is true that you are what you eat and that includes what the health of future children will look like. If I am malnourished, how would I be able then to nourish the child in my womb? (For more info about how to nourish your future children follow this link to the Weston A. Price Foundation to listen to an interesting podcast.)
Is this something that you desire to implement in your home?
The benefits that I mentioned in this article that came my way as a result of eating meals together with my parents and siblings (and as a result of my parents priorities for doing that), I so desire to see implemented again in young families.
How I’d love to see moms and dads cooperating like this again. But I fear that this simple, slow-paced, thoughtful way of living has been hijacked by the almighty dollar and a general busyness that is ultimately unproductive. It saddens me that we may never recover such wise and skilled parenting.
However, all it takes is a desire, decisiveness and a determination for parents to once again implement these priorities in the home. This requires a knowledge of how to do that and a commitment to remain faithful to it. (If you want to explore what a real nutrient rich diet is, visit the Weston A. Price website at this link.
Thank you, Dad and Mom! I’m so glad that you taught me to respect others at the table. And I’m so thankful that there were only two options on the menu for each meal. Your hard work and dedication will never be forgotten.
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