An Update and Some Musings on Suffering

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow

of death, I will fear no evil for Thou art with me. "

The following post was orginally written on August 7th of 2009, nearly twenty years ago now in 2026. I was struggling physically at that time with a MRSA infection in the incision of the total knee replacement surgery I'd had a few months earlier. I'm reposting it now with a plan to add additional posts regarding suffering. (Find a video here of an encouraging sermon regarding suffering that I posted a few weeks ago.)  

The last post I put up was three weeks ago, (go here to read the first post about my knee surgery) so I thought it might be time for an update on my recovery. I apologize for being so lax in getting back into blogging, but I have just not been motivated for various reasons.

Overall, my progress has been good. I did get back my range of motion and then some. (Thank you, Jehova Rophe!) I can now bend my knee 100 degrees which is pretty good from what I understand. That 100 degrees may be the full extent to which I can bend because scar tissue is preventing further progress. I'll find out more about that this Tuesday at therapy.

Also, I was cleared for the MRSA infection (how thankful I am for that!), though there still is one little red spot that concerns me. It hasn't gotten any larger and I am praying that it will soon disappear altogether. The doc gave me the ok to start my physical therapy again, but as soon as I used the CPM machine (continuous passive motion machine), I put my hip out and had to stop exercising for another four days. However, I 'm now back at it again.

Throughout this ordeal, the Lord has seen fit to continue to place many physical trials before me. Total knee replacement surgery, in and of itself, makes for a very challenging recovery, let alone all the extra bumps in the road that I am experiencing. I am still struggling with the thrush and fungal infection in my stomach. That should begin to improve now that I am off of the antibiotic, which by the way was Bactrim, a medication that I am allergic to and was told that I had to take it regardless of my allergy.

But because I am allergic to Bactrim, it has caused a new problem. Namely, I have developed a stomach ulcer as a result of having taken two rounds of it. So I've been prescribed yet another medication to treat the new problem. And because of the intense pain that the ulcer has caused, I am again taking more of the Percocet (pain medication). Eventually, the pain will subside as I heal and, God willing, I will try again to get off of that narcotic.

Sometimes it seems that there will be no end to this. At times I become very disheartened. "Where are you God?", I have asked on many days. I know what it means not to be able to pray as Romans 8:26 describes, "In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words..." How thankful I am for this sweet promise. The Spirit of God is praying for me.

The other day I picked my Bible and looked at this verse in Job, "Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him." (Job 13:15) In the margin I had written, "Would I be able to say this, Lord, under great trial? Strengthen me in my puny struggles to embrace You, O God, as my refuge and strength." I just cried when I read that, knowing that I had already, by God's sufficient grace, committed myself in such a way in the midst of my little trial.

And as I sat and tried to read on in the book of Job, I realized that I couldn't even get past that one verse. I thought, "Job could not have written this book while he was suffering so greatly because I cannot even read it in my meager sufferings." It gave me a new perspective on those who suffer chronically and on the sufferings of Christ as he drank in the bitter cup of the Cross. As a result, God has laid on me a new burden to pray for those I know of that suffer chronic physical disabilities and pain. And it has also impressed upon me afresh what my salvation cost the Lord Jesus Christ - so great a salvation.

"Lehman Strauss, in his book, Waiting on the Lord, said concerning his most severe trial, "This unexpected trial has changed my well-laid plans, but I know that God's plans are far better than mine." That is what I am learning to say. Though I had not planned for such a lengthy recovery, God planned differently. Though I planned to be up and back into my daily routine by now, God planned differently.

His plan is best and by His grace I will give Him thanks for it. He is producing endurance in me, conforming me to the character of Christ, teaching me to have a heart of thanksgiving, and impressing upon me the importance of not neglecting so a great salvation. I would never have planned for those things, but those are the things that are of the greatest importance to God - eternal things. My plans were only temporal.

With all of this in mind, it has been my greatest yearning from the very beginning to honor and glorify the Lord throughout this trial. I simply do not want to waste this pain. I want to gain the utmost glory for my Sovereign Lord and the highest good for the body of Christ (including myself) through this valley. Following are some verses that have helped me stay focused in and through this trial - to bring me back from the shadows of despair into the light of His glorious presence. May God use this, His word, to cheer you also in the valley that you face:

Psalm 31:19-20 - "Oh, how great is Your goodness, which You have laid up for those who fear You, which You have prepared for those who trust in You in the presence of the sons of men! You shall hide them in the secret place of Your presence..." (I love this reality. My Savior has done this for me many times during this trial.)

Isaiah 41:10 - "Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."

Psalm 25:15 - "My eyes are ever on the Lord, for only he will release my feet from the snare." (The snare for me isn't the pain and setbacks, but rather, how quickly my heart can resort to despair in the midst of those setbacks.)

Psalm 27:13-14 - "I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord!"

Isaiah 40:29-31 - "He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases power. Though youths grow weary and tired, and vigorous young men stumble badly, yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary."

Psalm 73:25, 26, 28 - "Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever...for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works."

Deuteronomy 31:8 - "And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed."

Psalm 50:14-15 - "Sacrifice thank offerings to God, fulfill your vows to the Most High, and call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me." (God gave me this text the day before my surgery and it has continued to encourage me and remind me that my part in all of this is to have a thankful heart and fulfill my vows to trust Him.)

Matthew 11:28-30 - "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." (Such a precious promise!)

Isaiah 45:2-3 - "I will go before you and will level the mountains; I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron. I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who calls you by your name." (And He has done just that! Go here to read how sweetly God has blessed me in this regard.)

Posted by Sharon Kaufman

An Update and Some Musings on Suffering

on March 31, 2026 2 comments

Casting "If" to the Wind

 "King If" must be cast to the wind and banished forever from our praying. 

"This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him." 

1 John 5:14-15

From R. A. Torrey:

"One of the most frequent usages of 1 John 5:14-15, which was so manifestly given to bring confidence, is to introduce an element of uncertainty into our prayers. Often, when a person is confident in prayer, some cautious brother will come and say: 'Now don't be too confident. If it is God's will, He will do it. You should add, "If it be Thy will."' Doubtless, there are times when we do not know the will of God. And submission to the excellent will of God should be the basis for all prayer. But when we know God's will, there need be no 'ifs'. This passage was not put into the Bible so that we could introduce 'ifs' into our prayers, but so that we could throw our 'ifs' to the wind and have confidence and know that we have the petitions which we have asked of Him."

Here's my story

The Lord impressed on me, after years of doubt-filled praying for the salvation of my children (they were living on their own by then), the  comforting truth of 1 John 5:14-15. 

During those years of doubts and "ifs", instead of having confidence praying for them, I could only wonder if God had chosen to save them. But after a great struggle, I realized that my only business was to pray with confidence for them and leave the "choosing part" to God alone and not wonder about His business. 

Two Bible texts that transformed my praying

This came about as I began to depend upon two Scripture verses that gave me the assurance that it was indeed God's will to save my children. Reiterating, the first Bible verse that I rested in is 1 John 5:14-15, which says, "And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him."

But how could I know if it was God's will to save my children? How could I leave off that little word "if" - "if it's Your will, Lord" from my prayers? This is what made me stumble in praying for them. 

This was my dilemma until the Lord, through His word, provided an answer to that question from 2 Peter 3:9 which tells me what His desirous will is. "The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not willing for any to perish, but for all to come to repentance."

No more "ifs' 

And so I began to pray, knowing it was the Lord's highest desire and will for my children to know and love Him. Confident of this, the "ifs" died a swift death. 

The Lord honors faith-filled, confident (in Him and His will) praying

After six months of confident praying, in 2014, the first of our four children bowed her knee to the Lord. Within the next nine years, all of our children, one by one came to know, love and worship the Living God. But the Lord even answered our prayers more specifically. During our years of confident praying, we had continually asked Him to save our children while we were still alive so that we could worship alongside of them. And this is exactly what He did.

A moving story...

Unbeknownst to me and my husband, the Lord saved the last of our children in February of 2023. At that time (and for three years prior), we had been attempting to move from our four story home because I had fallen multiple times on the stairs. It was then that our kiddos swiftly came to our rescue by helping us move, though we did not yet know where the Lord would move us to. 

That was in March of 2023. and with the help of our kids, we were packed and ready to go and had even sold our house by early June, within just months of the help of our kids. 

But it soon became abundantly clear that we had to move to the city where all four of our children lived, which was only half an hour away from our own home. Why would we not, seeing how helpful they had been and also considering that both my husband and I were in our mid-seventies?

From Rebels to Worshippers

By late June, we were moved in and settled into our new home. And we all (Robert and I and our children), once rebels to God, worshipped together in the same Bible-teaching church - for the first time within a week of moving. 

This added blessing from the Lord was such a gracious answer to our prayers! And to this date, we all continue sit in one row at church every Sunday, praising the Savior for His grace and mercy in having answered the confident prayers He had us praying. (Many of the saints at our church who have prodigal children tell us that just seeing our family seated together, worshipping, is a great encouragement for them to continue to beseech the gracious Lord for the salvation of their own children.) 

It was in the course of all of this activity, we became aware that the Lord had saved the last of our children, a daughter, in March of 2023. And He had us moved and worshipping together with all of our kids by June, within just months of Him having saved her. And within weeks of our move, we witnessed her baptism. 

Stunning what the the Lord does!

An "Iffy" Poem

Backing up just a bit, the Lord gave me the following poem about praying confidently when we know what His will is. Interestingly, I wrote it before any of our children came to know the Lord, but after I had cast my "ifs" to the wind!   

Casting "If" to the Wind

“If” God is willing,

“If” God is able;

“If” is a word

By which prayer is disabled.

“If” – such a small word

Looms great in our minds,

Obscures all God’s promises

And makes faith go blind.

"If” feeds on ignorance

Of not knowing God;

Not knowing His willingness,

So deep and so broad.

"If” is a small word

That grows to be king.

King “If” then enthrones

“Uncertain” as queen.

“Uncertain" the Queen,

Nurtures twins “Fear” and “Dread”;

“Worry” feeds them their breakfast,

"Anxious” tucks them in bed.

“King If” now dispatches 

His henchman named “Doubt”

To hunt down “True Faith”

And force “Confidence” out.

But sincere prayer by faith

Is what God longs to hear,

"Iffy" prayers must be banished,

For Christ to draw near.

So cast “If” and “Uncertain”

Out into the wind,

Uproot and dethrone “Doubt’,

Upon Christ now depend.

For then and then only

Can faith settle down,

And hope with great confidence

Truly abound.

You’ll find God so willing

And certainly able,

His goodness so broad

As you feast at His table.

When faith conquers “If”,

And trust drives away doubt,

When God’s glory and goodness

Are what you’re about.

A glimpse of Your Savior,

You’ll view from your knees,

And find your kind Father

Hears all His child’s pleas.

Copyright 2008 Sharon Kaufman 

Posted by Sharon Kaufman

Casting "If" to the Wind

on March 30, 2026 0 comments

The Very Best Sermon I've Ever Heard on Suffering

This is, hands down, the mose encouraging, equipping and comforting sermon I've ever heard concerning suffering. Paul Tripp is completely honest about the thoughts that enter our heads as Christians when we suffer, as well as prescriptive as to how to suffer well in bringing God glory during these difficult times in our lives. No more words needed to describe Paul Tripp's sermon. Please just take a little time to listen.

Posted by Sharon Kaufman

The Very Best Sermon I've Ever Heard on Suffering

on March 24, 2026 0 comments