She Does Him Good

“She does him good…all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:12

This article was written nine years ago. I don't know why it took so long to post it, but it's still great information for doing your husband good!

A Very Important Education for Women
Studies have found that married men live longer than bachelors. There are many reasons, but diet is a very significant factor. “According to a study presented at a meeting of the American Psychosomatic Society, married men eat a healthier diet than bachelors. Analyzing the eating habits of 29,728 male health professionals between the ages of 40 and 75, researchers found that married men eat more vegetables and less fried food…”

Another study showed that: ''Women traditionally take more responsibility for the home than men do, and, as a consequence, women's education might be more important for the family lifestyle - for example, in terms of food habits…(this) could have a substantial influence on the health and mortality of the partner.”

Time to Wise-up!
That “education” for me commenced about 6 years ago, after my husband and I began to experience health problems. No doctor could tell me what my problem was so I began to look into nutrition.

After discovering The Weston A. Price Foundation, which is dedicated to restoring nutrient-dense foods to the human diet through education, research and activism, I realized that I knew very little about nutrition.

These “nutrient-dense” foods have been demonized by today’s diet gurus and also by the medical field – butter, eggs, whole raw milk, cream, saturated fats, red meat, organ meats, etc. These are foods that God created and has sanctioned in Scripture for the human diet, as 1 Timothy 4:3-5 says, “…foods which God has created to be gratefully shared in by those who believe and know the truth. For everything created by God is good…”. If God says it’s good, who is to say otherwise? It all made sense.

As these foods were restored to our diet, and all the processed so-called “health foods” (low-fat-this, cholesterol-free-that, etc.) were eliminated, our health began to improve dramatically. Within a few months, we were discarding many prescription drugs because the health issues associated with them no longer existed (high blood pressure for instance).

Helping My Husband
As my husband’s helper, I remain committed to putting densely nourishing foods on the table. It is a very real way I can assist my husband in regard to his physical well-being so that he can continue to advance the kingdom of God, serving as God has called him.

Robert has taught the Bible for many years – in the pulpit (though he is not a pastor), at mid-week Bible study, to seminary students abroad, etc. In June he is traveling with 2 other men from our church to conduct several Pastor’s conferences in Southern Sudan. His health is crucial to these ministries. I want to do what I can to help him continue to minister God’s word for the good of His people for His glory.

As wives, we have the opportunity to help our husbands enjoy good health. Food should do what God intended – build and support a strong immune system, build and repair our bodies, satisfy our taste buds and satiate our hunger. Only real food can do that. Fake foods do just the opposite – damage and tear down our bodies and weaken our immune system. And even though those foods may taste good, they are toxic (containing chemical flavors, preservatives, pesticide residues and more) that cause bodily damage.

Real Food Really Makes a Positive Difference
A few months back Robert saw his doctor for a routine visit. His blood pressure was 123/72. The doctor said, “You are a rarity – the only man your age (63) that I’ve seen recently with such great readings without medication.” Wow! I was there and heard this. I thought to myself, “If I told the doctor that it’s all the wonderful saturated fat and cholesterol (along with all the good veggies and fruit), he’d never believe me!”

However, I must also remember that though real food definitely makes a difference for health, God is still sovereign. He can and does use illness at times for our spiritual growth and benefit. But I am still committed to doing what I can to help my husband’s health (and mine). But if God decides to use cancer for our good and His glory, I know that it would be His sovereign and gracious design for our lives and not because I was serving chemical-laden faux-foods.

Getting Back To The Past
We live in a world where we can have anything in an instant, including food. We no longer have to plan meals. Just a quick trip to the grocery store provides us with a fast-fix for dinner (breakfast or lunch). We think that getting out of the kitchen in a flash improves our lives.

But women in the past knew better. They had a wisdom about food that has long since been lost to the younger generation. Wives were always on board to support their men with hearty, healthful meals from early morning to suppertime.

The Proverbs 31 woman “…rises also while it is still night and gives food to her household and portions to her maidens.” Notice here that feeding her loved ones was such a priority for this excellent wife that she did not delegate the job to her servants. She did the cooking herself and even served her maids breakfast!

My father was more educated than most modern brides. When Mom continued to make eggs for breakfast, after cold, boxed cereal had made its way onto the grocery shelves, Dad told us (his three discontented kids) that the health of our future children depended on our eating nutritious foods in the present, especially for breakfast which he proclaimed was the most important meal of the day. Now, as I read books like Real Food for Mother and Baby by Nina Planck, I marvel at his homespun wisdom. That “wisdom of the ancients” is far superior and accurate to what we are told today by the food industry.

But What if My Husband Objects?
It is not unusual for the man of the house to offer a few objections. The best way for me to deal with this issue has been submission, prayer and a respectful appeal (in order to come to an agreeable solution if need be). Here are some typical and reasonable objections your husband might offer:

“I really don’t care to eat that stuff.”
Personally, I would love to serve seafood once a week, but Robert simply does not care for it. In fact, he loathes it. But I know that the Omega 3’s that fish provide are vital to health. What to do? After putting it before the Lord, the answer came – COD LIVER OIL. Can you believe that? My husband would rather go hungry than let one morsel of mackerel (or salmon, etc.) pass through his lips, yet he will gladly slurp down a spoonful of cod liver oil every morning. That’s because it’s flavored with real lemon and has absolutely no fish taste.

One lady I know tried numerous times in numerous ways to get her husband to eat unrefined coconut oil, but he could detect it no matter how she disguised it in his food. Finally, she relented and put her gallon of coconut oil to rest.

Subsequently, one evening after retiring for bed, her husband leaned over to kiss her goodnight and gagged as he said, “Do you mean to tell me that I cannot even give my wife a kiss goodnight without tasting that stuff?!” Since she no longer had any culinary use for the coconut oil she had begun using it as a skin moisturizer.

But that’s not the end of the story. My Bible study group met at this lady’s house weekly. One evening I provided popcorn – popped in coconut oil and slathered with good butter – as the snack. I stayed a little afterward, just long enough for her husband to waltz in and ask for something to nosh on. Not remembering the coconut oil debacle, I handed him a bag of popcorn. He gobbled it down with relish, commenting about how scrumptious it was. When I realized what he was eating, it was all I could do to keep from laughing.

“We cannot afford organic.”
This is where it really pays to know your stuff. If you have educated yourself, you can respectfully appeal to your husband. Pray first, then approach him with ideas to make whole food work within your budget. Here is a sampling of what you might present:

• Many foods are safe to eat that have been grown conventionally. Thick-skinned produce such as citrus fruits, melons, avocados, bananas and many, many more.
• Growing food organically helps to stretch the food dollar also.
• Serving economy meals is helpful – soups, legumes, etc. that are inexpensive to make. Of course, this requires planning.
• Money will be saved by not buying expensive convenience faux foods or eating out nearly as often. (My husband and I have lived on a very small income since eating this way and we have never had to compromise at the grocery store.)
• Making cleaning and beauty products from common household ingredients will save money that can then be directed toward the food budget.

“What about dessert?”
Your husband may feel like his sweet tooth will be starved out (actually, that’s not a bad thing). Assure him that you will be making his sweets from scratch (perhaps this is yet another way to budget for whole foods). Use healthy alternative sweeteners – palm sugar, raw honey, organic maple syrup, Rapadura, stevia. (Follow this link to understand why agave is one of the most unhealthy sweeteners.)

Personally, I have never been a baker. Instead, our sweet treats include puddings, baked apples, peaches or strawberries and cream with honey, parfaits, homemade ice cream, etc. Most of these sweets offer fewer carbs than baked goods and also some nutrition in the form of eggs, cream and milk. Still, these types of foods should be served occasionally rather than daily since they are not the most nutritious of foods. Also, try serving salty snacks as an alternative treat, such as popcorn, popped as mentioned above, peanut or almond butter on celery or salty nuts prepared for optimum nutrition.

“I don’t at all want to change the way we’re eating.”
If this is your situation and your husband will not be persuaded otherwise, if it concerns your husband’s tastes rather than the budget, there are many things that you can do to make his meals more nutritious. Here are some ideas:
• Switch from toxic fats and oils to those that are nourishing.
• Switch from processed sugar to healthy alternatives.
• Make your own salad dressings (the ones your hubby really likes) and mayonnaise.
• Buy bacon and wieners, etc. that do not contain nitrites and nitrates.
• Make hamburgers from grass-fed beef instead of conventional beef.
• Buy snacks (potato chips for instance) that are made with cold-pressed monounsaturated oils instead of polyunsaturated heat-extracted oils.

God is Honored
When it is your desire to help your husband in this fashion God is glorified and He will provide in ways that you never dreamed of. Hasn’t He commanded us to pray, “Give us this day our daily bread.” If it is your desire to help your husband eat well, but you believe that your budget will not be adequate to buy whole foods, don’t give up before you ask your Heavenly Father to make it possible.

Some Practical Ways to Nourish Your Husband
• Make breakfast. After fasting for 10 hours or more and with the full day still ahead, breakfast is vital for energy and general health.
• “Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper.”
• Pack a lunch if your husband eats away from home while working
• Serve the salad as a first course. If your husband leaves most of his salad because he fills up on the main course, give him his salad (alone) first with his favorite (healthy homemade) dressing.
• Provide plenty of good fat with each meal. Good fat satiates hunger better than carbs or protein. Your husband will go longer without needing snacks. Slather cooked veggies in butter (it also assists in the delivery and metabolizing of nutrients to your body).

Now go and do your husband good just like the Proverbs wife did!

Posted by Sharon Kaufman

She Does Him Good

on August 20, 2019 0 comments

Feminism and the Christian Woman

Concerning feminism's attempt to bring fulfillment and lasting happiness to women, Mary Kassian says it well in this video.

As a woman of more than sixty years now, I can remember (did I actually say that I can remember something?!) - yes, I remember - when the big push for feminism first made its case to women in the early 1970s. Even as woman who had not yet embraced Jesus Christ, I knew it was wrong.

Women began throwing off all restraints and boundaries -  bra burnings (bras were seen as an icon of restriction and conformity), bitterness toward men manifested outwardly, refusals to stay at home any longer with their children, resentment toward the traditional role of man leading and woman helping, a despising (that word is not at all too strong) of the menial work they did in the home (changing diapers, washing dishes, mopping floors), etc. This was an amazing time!

The only way I can explain the fact that I did not get caught up in this movement is the grace of God. He kept me from it. Later He saved me. But, the sad truth of the feminist movement is that most women, many of whom were my own college friends, were duped into believing something that was entirely false. They began to shape their worlds based on the lies of feminism. As a result, many women gave up marriage and/or motherhood or waited until it was too late to have children. Even some of the most outspoken feminists from that time have now issued statements about their own ruined, bereft lives and the insatiable longings for mothering that persist till this day - longings that can never be satisfied.

God created woman and gave her innate desires and gifts. The greatest of these inner longings is for Christ. Until she has a soul-deep relationship with Him, she will never find the fulfillment she yearns for in this life. When she does embrace Jesus, and when He, in His great compassion and love, becomes her Lord, rather than empowering a world gone crazy to have that authority over her, she will happily receive His gift of womanhood for her.

Enough from me. Watch this video. And here is a link to what I believe is the very best resource for Biblical womanhood on the internet - Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

Posted by Sharon Kaufman

Feminism and the Christian Woman

on September 17, 2010 0 comments

Don't Be A Shrew!

Robert brought my attention to this video of The Animals. It was posted on Ray Ortland's blog along with the words. This group came into popularity when I was a teenager. I must have listened to this song hundreds of times, but never really paid attention to the lyrics too much until this morning. 

These guys are really communicating a Biblical message concerning the respect a wife owes her husband. I was quite stunned as I read the lyrics. Respect and submission from a wife to her husband are commanded in Ephesians 5:22-24, 33 and again in Colossians 3:18. Wives are also commanded to love their husbands in Titus 2:4. Of course, we need the power of the Spirit of God to do this with the mind of Christ, as He submitted Himself to the will of His Heavenly Father.

When you complain and criticize

I feel I’m nothing in your eyes
It makes me feel like giving up
Because my best just ain’t good enough
Girl, I want to provide for you
And do all the things you want me to

But Oh, Oh no, don’t bring me down
I’m beggin’ you darling
Oh, Oh no, don’t bring me down

Sacrifices I will make
I’m ready to give as well as take
One thing I need is your respect
One thing I can’t take is your neglect
Girl, I want your tender love
Then troubles are easy to rise above

Here I would like to interject a few brief thoughts about submission.

What Submission is Not

Submission is not subjugation. It does not mean that you are inferior to your husband. It is not laying down your life in order to be a doormat. Submitting to your husband does not mean that you can never speak to offer your opinions or ideas. And if your husband is asking you to sin, you had best not submit to him. We obey God rather than man. Nor does submission ever mean that you should "just take" being physically abused. In that case, there are laws to protect you from such brutality. Such a man should be turned over to the authorities.

 

What Submission Is

Submission is part of a dignified role that God has given to the woman as part of what it means to be the man's helper. God created man and woman to be equals with different roles - the man leads and the woman helps. And by the way, equality has nothing at all to do with the role we were created to fulfill. Equality has to do with the essence of what/who we are. God created both man and woman in His image, and to be human. In essence, we are both human beings. We are not two different kinds of beings, one a human and one some kind of creature less than human. No, we are both of the same essences and that is where our equality lies.

Why Submission?
Since no institution can survive without order, God created order in the marriage by creating roles. The man leads and the woman helps him lead. And that leading does not only apply in the home, but also in the church in the and world (where it is appropriate).

But for some odd reason (because of the Fall), women have always contended for the same role as the man in marriage. This is where the 50/50 marriage idea comes in - where both the man and the woman lead 50% of the time. Problem is, when does he lead and when is it her turn and who keeps score? Imagine if employees did that at the workplace? Total anarchy and chaos would ensue, just as it has in marriage.

So I offer you the following excerpt from Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew, which really says it like it is. I am always convicted when I read it. Just a suggestion as you read...do not take exception to the first few lines. Rather think of your husband in these roles as your earthly head (your "lord" with a small L for instance), for indeed he is.

The Taming of the Shrew

Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper,
Thy head, thy sovereign, one that cares for thee,
And for thy maintenance commits his body
To painful labor, both by sea and land;
To watch the night in storms, the day in cold,
Whilst thou lie'st warm at home, secure and safe;
And craves no other tribute at thy hands
But love, fair looks, and true obedience - 
Too little payment for so great a debt.
Such duty as the subject owes the prince,
And when she is froward, peevish, sullen, sour,
And not obedient to his honest will, 
What is she but a foul contending rebel,
And graceless traitor to her loving lord?
I, ashamed that women are so simple
To offer war where they should kneel for peace,
Or seek rule, supremacy or sway,
When they are bound to serve, love and obey
Why are our bodies soft, and weak, and smooth,
Unapt to to toil and trouble in the world
But that our soft conditions and our hearts
Should well agree with our external parts?

In what ways do you support your husband? How do you help him? What little things do you do that he really appreciates? In what areas do you find it difficult to submit and be respectful?

Posted by Sharon Kaufman

Don't Be A Shrew!

on April 08, 2010 2 comments

Rock Me, Mama!

Though I have never mentioned this before, it may interest you to know that, at 59 years of age, I am caring for a child in my home. Last year I began watching a baby while his mom was at work (it has been a necessity for her to work at this time). Riley was just under one year old when God blessed me with him. He is now just under two years of age.

He comes to my home at 5:30 in the morning, five days a week and stays till about 3:15 in the afternoon. Riley is a very happy and well behaved little boy and loves to come to stay with "Granny" and "Poppy". Though he is not a grandchild, he thinks he is and we love him like he is.

I said that to say the following. Yesterday I came across a post on another website that I thought was interesting. It was about the pros and cons of allowing children to sleep with their parents in the parent's bed.

This idea of mom and dad and baby being in the same bed leaves me with a question: "Whatever happened to the age-old, tried and true rocking chair? Do mothers of young children ever use the rocking chair any more? I now hear and read so much about this practice of having the baby in bed with the parents. I just don't get it for several reasons which I will express in the following questions:

1. How do mom and dad get adequate sleep with baby in the same bed?

2. Isn't there concern that the baby could be smothered by mom or dad if they actually do sleep soundly?

3. Whatever happened to the truth that the bed is a marriage bed, not a family bed (even as far as an infant sleeping in their bed for 3 months goes)?

4. And lastly, with baby in bed with mom and dad, will this not put dad at a disadvantage since he has to go to work and earn a living? Will not his performance levels at work be affected by interrupted or inadequate sleep?

Now may I offer an alternative that may be superior to the family bed option?

From the time my children were infants till they were toddlers I rocked them. My parents rocked me to sleep. Rocking my children provided a structured time for me to cuddle with them and to sing and read to them (in other words, to teach them). This also gave me much-needed down-time to relax, though it still served as quality time with my children.

Enter Riley on the scene - I now rock him. At first, he didn't like it. But I did not give up. It wasn't long before he began to love our 15-20 minutes together before his nap. I sing simple children's songs to him and he has actually learned to carry a tune and sing the words. His favorite song is Old McDonald Had a Farm which he sings as "Ol McGonnel" (so cute!!!).

We also discuss all the topics relevant and important to a toddler, such as the sounds that animals make and where his and my eyes, nose, cheeks, mouth, tongue, etc. are. Of course, I also read to him - small-sized board books. And he loves to have his "blankey" during this time. (It is the only time he has it other than to sleep with.) When Riley finally falls asleep I put him in his bed. If he wakes up when I lay him down, he knows he must stay put and go back to sleep. His nap lasts about 1 1/2 - 2 hours.

Now lest you think that this trains a child to depend upon the rocking chair to fall asleep, you need to know that when this little guy comes in the morning (at 5:30), I put him to bed without rocking him. He does not fuss at all. In fact, he smiles sweetly, kisses me and says, "Night, night, Granny." That's it! He goes right down and sleeps till at least 7 and sometimes till 7:30, which gives me time with the Lord before making breakfast. Riley has learned to adjust to my agenda and time schedule.

Rocking my children, grandchildren (and now Riley) has proven to be only beneficial. All of my little ones loved their rocking time and consistently went to bed willingly for their naps. I never had to wean them off or break them from the habit of the rocking chair. They eventually just outgrew the chair and my lap - literally. They got too big to rock. As it was uncomfortable at that point, they no longer desired to be on Mommy's lap and the feeling was mutual.

Another benefit was that when the children were too big to rock anymore, rocking time just naturally graduated into a reading time with them. Since the time was already set aside, I just moved the children into their beds and sat at the bedside and read (at night and nap time also). Thus they learned to love books and reading.

Rocking time was also advantageous in that my husband and I slept soundly at night. However, I always woke when any of my infants were hungry. I got out of bed and rocked them during their feedings. Then I was able to return to bed where I knew I could stretch out however I wanted. My husband did not have to worry about rolling over on the baby nor was he disturbed and kept awake when it was time to feed and change her. This was obviously helpful for him (we are to be helping our husbands in ways like this, are we not?) since he had to get up and go to work in the morning.

It seems to me that the rocking chair is a win-win way of nurturing babies and young children, but it seems to be a lost grace. I would be interested to know if anyone out there still rocks their children. Reiterating, I hear and read much about the bed thing, but never anything about the good old fashioned rocking chair. What a shame for this is how I remember it:

The Rock of Love

My mama rocked me in her chair.

My papa also tried,

Though on his shoulder still I laid,

My eyes were opened wide.

What tender words I heard from them,

And songs so dear and sweet.

They nestled me and whispered love,

Then rocked me fast asleep.

With fond affection I recall

The stories that they shared.

But precious more, their kind caress

In that old rocking chair.

It made for such sweet sleep and dreams,

For Christ's love was displayed.

"Now let the little children come."

It seems I heard Him say.

This habit carried on until

My feet - they reached the floor.

Though too big now for mama's lap,

She loved me like before.

I too have rocked my precious ones,

And tender words I spoke.

Yes, that old rocker, though it creaks

Still nurtures little folks.

SKK

Posted by Sharon Kaufman

Rock Me, Mama!

on October 13, 2008 2 comments

Woman is Helper - Three Facets of the Woman's Role as Helper

Part 1 - Aiding by Completing Godly Male Leadership

The following is a series on Biblical womanhood that I have taught both here in the states and abroad. It is universal because it is the Biblical model of the helper role and therefore applies to Christian women the world over. It will be delivered in bite-sized pieces in the following weeks. I pray that you will be encouraged as you read.

Whether you are married or unmarried, as a woman you are "helper" to godly male leadership. That might translate into being a helper to your husband or, if you are not married, to church leadership.

God has designed us, as women with distinct inclinations. Women are endowed by the Creator with specific characteristics that enable them to function as God intended when He first created woman. As a helper, you will basically fulfill your role in three specific ways. 

First of all I want to state what those three characteristics or aspects are and then I will define and elaborate on each one throughout the coming weeks:

Aspect 1. As helper to godly male leadership, woman is an aid or supporter

A.) As an aid woman completes godly male leadership (this is the topic for this post)

B.) As an aid woman complements godly male leadership

C.) As an aid woman complys with (or submits to) godly male leadership

Aspect 2. As helper to male leadership, woman is a keeper in the home.

Aspect 3. As helper to male leadership, woman is a nurturer of life.

Another way to express these three aspects is: 

1) In her aid to her husband and/or to the church, woman helps and supports man; 

2) In her cultivation of the home woman is helper to man; and 

3) In her nurturing of others, woman is helper to man. 

(Each one of these three aspects operates in several ways, as you will see further along in this post.)

These are the three main aspects of woman as helper, whether she is married or single. The man’s God-given purpose is different and he does not concentrate on these facets of life, though he participates in cultivating the home and in nurturing life also. But he is not driven to do these things as his calling. His calling from God is to lead by protecting, providing and sacrificially loving. These are the areas that he he specializes in and strives for. Woman generally is directed toward helping man by specializing in aiding him, keeping the home and nurturing life.

The first way a woman carries out her role as helper is to serve as an aid or supporter to her husband if she is married, and as an aid or supporter to the church regardless of her marital status. We see this because the same order that God created in marriage, He also created for the church – men lead and women help, including single women. However, single women are undivided (not involved in supporting a husband and/or children) in their service to the church (1 Corinthians 7).

Now it may sound redundant for me to say that women carry out their helper role by being an aid or supporter. That may sound like the same thing to you, but as this is clarified, hopefully, you will see how it is accurate to classify this aspect of the helper role that way.

In this post, we will begin with the helper as an aid and support to her husband and/or to the church.

As an aid, woman supports godly male leadership in three ways. (Remember, there are the three aspects already mentioned - aiding, keeping the home and nurturing life - and each aspect operates in several ways.) The three ways a woman supports godly male leadership as an aid are: 1) she completes male leadership, 2) she complements male leadership, and 3) she submits to male leadership. This is how she aids male leadership. It is true in the home with her husband, if she is married, and in the church also. A woman, whether married or single, carries out this role in the church as she submits to the elders, compliments their leadership and helps to complete the work there.

Reiterating, in this post we will look at the helper as an aid to male leadership in completing godly male leadership; in the next two posts we will look at the helper's aid to male leadership through complementing (second post) and submitting (third post).

But first, let's understand what it means to be an aid. Here is an analogy:

An Analogy of an Aid – You are a Helping Hand

It always helps me to use an analogy when trying to grasp the meaning of a spiritual truth. To better understand the definition and function of an aid or supporter, the analogy of a “helping hand” came to my mind. As an aid we could say that woman is man’s “helping hand”. Please remember this analogy. It could transform the way you relate to male leadership. When I compare woman as aid to a helping hand, I think of how the left hand aid the right hand and how it completes, compliments and submits to it.

Aiding by Completing Male Leadership

My right hand by itself is not complete. It is never as efficient and useful alone as when my left helping hand is assisting. Together, the two hands are one in function and purpose. They are a complete set. Each is the counterpart of the other.

Woman completes man spiritually, physically, emotionally and intellectually: 

Spiritually, she completes him by filling up what is lacking in his ability to image God alone. I will get back to this. 

Physically, she completes him by helping him bear children for God’s glory, by meeting his physical need for intimacy, and by caring for his need for physical nourishment. 

Emotionally, she completes him by offering a softer side to humanity, a tenderness and sensitivity that he does not characteristically possess. This comes out in her passion to nurture people. 

Intellectually, she completes him by her focus to detail, which balances his bottom-line orientation. One way this is manifested is through her attention to the home, intelligently cultivating the place where he lives, looking well to her household and all the details of it.

Adam Recognizes His Incompleteness

Concerning woman completing man, God said during the creation week, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Once Adam had named the animals and observed that each one had its own particular counterpart - something Adam himself did not have - he came to know personally that he was incomplete. He was alone and he felt it for the first time.

As Adam named the animals, he recognized that each kind had an appropriate counterpart. They looked very similar, yet each species' counterpart was also different in some ways. There was a male and there was a female of every species that Adam named. I believe since the Lord commanded the animals to "be fruitful and multiply" (Genesis 1:22), that they were already carrying out that mandate quite naturally by the time Adam got around to naming them. And he couldn't help but notice his aloneness as he named each species. 

Adam realized that out of all that God had created, he was an exception because he was the only one of his kind. He was the only created being that there was not two of. He felt this deeply. So, the Lord caused him to sleep while He went about fashioning Adam's counterpart, one that would be like him, yet be different, and essentially one that completed him. 

No Longer Incomplete When God Provided a Wonderful Counterpart

When Eve was brought to Adam, he knew that he now had one that was just like him - she too was mankind. And she was his specific match. She was not created with fangs, feathers, fins or fur. She was made of flesh and bone just like Adam. He exclaimed with great delight, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh..." He was now complete. 

And so it has been ever since creation that woman has continued to complete man in specific ways: 

Getting back to the spiritual aspect, Adam was only half of the expression of God and half of God's intended function for mankind on the earth, like a right hand represents only half of the body’s ability to function with the upper appendages. Adam bore God’s image, but only part of it. There was another side of God that would be expressed through Eve’s personhood and function. Together they would bear His image completely. Together they would carry out God’s mandate to rule the earth.

Now what I am not saying here is that every man or woman must be married to be complete. Obviously, the apostle Paul did not believe that for he made it clear that it was his preference to remain single. Even though Paul preferred singleness for himself, God still used women, like Phoebe and Prisca, to help Paul (Romans 16:1-4). He was not himself independent of women aiding him with his work in the early church.

What I am saying is that in the larger scope of mankind bearing God’s image and functioning in creation, both male and female are necessary. The human race cannot even perpetuate without both. And without the softer side of femininity and woman's diverse function, the world cannot accurately image God or carry out His mandate.

Woman bears God’s image in many ways, different than man. God created her with unique attributes that are also part of His character – nurturing for example. She represents Him in this way to her children and others that she attends to in loving ways.

God’s nurturing side is seen in Scripture through the care He bestows on His children. Isaiah 49:15 says, “Can a woman forget her nursing child, and not have compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget, yet I will not forget you.” And in Isaiah 66:13 we hear the Lord saying to Israel, "As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you…” In the New Testament, we are familiar with Paul’s instruction when he tells fathers to bring up their children in the “nurture” and admonition of the Lord.

God fashioned Eve from Adam’s bone and flesh and she completed him. He was thrilled to have what had so obviously been missing from his life. He no longer felt alone and now had new motivation and momentum to be God’s agent on earth. Together they would rule the earth, and together they would bear God’s complete image. Just as my left hand completes my right hand, so woman completes man.

William Shakespeare wrote concerning man and woman completing one another:

      He is half part of a blessed man, left to be finished by such a she; and        she a fair divided excellence, whose fullness of perfection lies in         him. 

In the next Woman is Helper post, we will explore how woman aids man by complimenting him in his leadership role.

Posted by Sharon Kaufman

Woman is Helper - Three Facets of the Woman's Role as Helper

on September 18, 2008 0 comments

My Husband I Promise to...

Abide in Christ, for without Him I can do nothing, not even for you. (Jn. 15:5)

Beautify our home with the treasures of heaven. (Pro. 24:3-4)

Commune with you - body to body, mind to mind & spirit to spirit. (Song 2:3-4; 5:16)

Devote myself to doing you good all the days of our lives together. (Pro. 31:10-12)

Express my gratitude to the Lord daily for gifting me with your love. (Phil. 1:3-4)

Forsake all other binding relationships and cleave only to you. (Ps. 45:10-11)

Govern our marriage by the Law of Love. (1 Pet. 4:8)

Help you in all you do, complementing and completing you. (Gen. 2:18)

Image Christ before you, the purpose for which I was created. (Gen. 1:26; Phil.2:5)

Journey with you wherever you go. (Gen. 12:4b-5; Ruth 1:16)

Kindle fires for you - in the hearth, in my heart & in our human oneness. (Pro. 5:18-19)

Laugh with you, for laughter is a gift from the Lord that binds hearts together. (Job 8:21; Pro. 17:22)

Manage our home, cultivating life and love there. (Pro. 14:1; Rom 12:13)

Nourish and nurture you & all who enter through our door. (1 Tim. 5:9-10; Titus 2:4-5)

Outlaw bitterness in my heart & nurture forgiveness in our relationship. (Eph. 4:31-32)

Pray for you always - for your spiritual, physical & emotional well-being. (3 Jn. 2)

Quiet my anxious thoughts with God’s precious promises. (Phil. 4:5b-7)

Respect you as the God-given head of our marriage. (Eph. 5:21b-24)

Serenade you with a gentle, quiet spirit that trusts in the Lord. (1 Pet. 3:3-5)

Treasure Christ above all else, even above you, my Darling. (Phil. 3:8a)

Uphold God’s design for marriage by yielding to your leadership. (Eph. 5:21-24)

Value each moment we have this side of heaven, knowing that life is but a vapor. (Jms. 4:14)

Withhold not love, but rather initiate reconciliation regardless of who is at fault. (Eph. 4:26-27)

X-amine the log in my own eye before looking at the speck in yours. (Matt. 7:3)

Yearn always for your manly love. (Song 3:4)

Zealously guard my love for Christ so that you will be the Zenith of my earthly love. (1 Jn. 4:19)

Posted by Sharon Kaufman

My Husband I Promise to...

on January 30, 2008 0 comments